I'm in my room again, my music

turned up so loud it shakes

everything around me. Slipknot

blares, through walls, through tears,

And for a moment, I feel okay

Because I know somebody gets my pain

 

Music has always cured my pain

The angry kind, the heavy kind, music

that reminds us it's okay to not be okay

And so I turn up the volume, shaking

voice singing familiar words that tear

through the dark, as I untie the knot

 

My stomach settles, the heavy knot

in my chest uncoils, and the seething pain

dissolves, as I slowly wipe the rest of my tears.

I am reminded of the world, of all the music

I still haven't heard, and I steady my shaking

breathe, telling myself I will be okay

 

The storm in my head fades, and I am okay,

if just for a moment, knowing today will not

be my last. I have come too far to shake

hands with death so soon, so I numb my pain,

pick up my guitar, and give back the music

that has always wiped my tears

 

I think of all the things that have tried to tear

me apart, all the times I really wasn't okay,

and every time ends the same; with music

devouring the dark. Slowly, the slipknot

around my mind loosens, and the pain

retreats, as the walls begin to shake

 

Each note consumes me, steadying

my racing heart, and this time, my tears

are those of joy. I find I am truly happy

for the first time in years, I will slip not.